Turn away, if you could get me a drink of water, cause my lips are chapped and faded.
I should turn this off before the lyrics start getting under my skin. I stare blankly at my computer screen, quietly contemplating whether slitting my wrists would mean I could get a few months off work, maybe the finance department will finally process my commission.
And bury me in all my favorite colors
You're being over dramatic, again. overthinking, again, pull yourself together. I shake my head and try not rub the eye shadow from my eyes.
I will not kiss you
Stop this song, it's getting to your head. But it's too late. That line has sent me spiraling off the edge into the darkness I've tried beating into a corner for the past three months. Not for the first time, getting hit by a speeding bus seems more like salvation than tragedy.
Now turn away
'Cause I'm awful just to see
You're being selfish again, wake up. But my mind has gone into a coma and it's happy there, dead or dying, I can't tell the difference anymore. There's worse things in the world, damn it. Just because your world is crumbling does not mean the one outside will stop spinning. Get up.
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
I fight the tears, tell myself I'm made of marble, again. I am carved from diamond and will not break. Force myself to smile, again, tell myself not to think of blood and death, and...
Lips are chapped and faded
Stupid sad song, I tell myself. But I know it isn't the song. I just needed an excuse to succumb to the darkness again. Just for today, tomorrow will be different. I'll be better.
I will not kiss you
