All My Faults

I'm sorry if my sadness scares you, if it makes you angry and it makes me difficult to love.

I'm sorry if it's hard for you to see me lay it all out by your feet the darkness I use as a cloak and my tears that never cease.

I'm sorry if the rain clouds in my mind never seem to end, it's a perpetual battle for sunny days.

I'm sorry if I like the feeling of the rain so much, the way it drenches my emotions and weighs me down, it clouds my mind while the thunder and lightning flash behind my eyes. 

It's all I've ever known.

I'm sorry for the long moments of silence, if it makes you feel awkward, if it makes you worry. There's a war raging in my brain, it's been going on for eons.

Sometimes, I think I can hear the screams. 

I'm sorry if I don't smile as much as I used to, if my eyes are less alive. I just feel so dead inside. 

Sometimes, I wonder if there's still a soul stirring inside me, most days I don't feel my heart beating. 

I'm sorry if you don't want to hear what I have to say anymore, if my constant need for reassurance and a shoulder to cry on, for someone who understands annoys you.

I can't help it.

I have no one else.

I'm sorry.